Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Look, at this point, you should all just start referring to me as Mrs. Kishimoto, ok?
Spoilers: The entire Sand/Sound vs. Leaf arc. I draw a fair amount of stuff from the anime not the manga, 'cause they actually bothered to use Temari for things other than exposition in the anime.
Notes: So doradoradora "requested" Sand-nin incest. I say "requested" because she just sort of mentioned that she'd be interested in seeing it written, and I just sort of mentioned that I would be interested in writing it. And then I totally forgot about the incest bit and wrote an "I Love Temari" fic instead. Sorry 'bout that.
Warnings: Gaara being...Gaara. Also, Riko being...Riko which might actually be scarier.
Summary: Put the bullet in the barrel / take the safety off / keep shooting at the devil / in the moonlight.
Disclaimer: Look, at this point, you should all just start referring to me as Mrs. Kishimoto, ok?
Spoilers: The entire Sand/Sound vs. Leaf arc. I draw a fair amount of stuff from the anime not the manga, 'cause they actually bothered to use Temari for things other than exposition in the anime.
Notes: So doradoradora "requested" Sand-nin incest. I say "requested" because she just sort of mentioned that she'd be interested in seeing it written, and I just sort of mentioned that I would be interested in writing it. And then I totally forgot about the incest bit and wrote an "I Love Temari" fic instead. Sorry 'bout that.
Warnings: Gaara being...Gaara. Also, Riko being...Riko which might actually be scarier.
Summary: Put the bullet in the barrel / take the safety off / keep shooting at the devil / in the moonlight.
Take the Safety Off
Gaara has hands that look like they've never been touched by wind or rain or even sand. He squats at the side of the road, looking like he's about to tip over and at the same time, like he's perfectly balanced. Kankuro has gone to get directions from the only house in miles, and she and tiny Gaara wait patiently at the side of the road.
To a stranger, they might almost look like they are waiting for Kankuro and not just for the mission to start again. She might be; he definitely isn't. Because they've never been a family, and Gaara's hands have never been clean even if they look it. These are things she never forgets.
---
Kankuro slips into the chair beside her and gestures for the young woman behind the counter to bring him something, anything, to eat. He ends up with a plate of gyoza.
Where's Gaara gone?
She shrugs and twirls her chopsticks in the thick pile of soba before her. Probably not far.
Kankuro groans a little and wraps two dumplings in a napkin to be hidden in his shuriken holster and saved for an emergency. He gets to his feet. Let's go find him.
She digs in her pocket for a moment and produces enough change for their meals. It won't be hard. Just follow the screaming. She wishes that was a joke.
---
She doesn't take the chuunin exam that year. Gaara isn't even a genin yet, so how could she?
She walks home alone and passes other students who graduated in her year, planning their journey to Konoha. Nights like this, she knows she isn't really a ninja. To Kazekage-sama and the rest, she is just a zookeeper.
When she gets home, Kankuro is already asleep in his room, door open and his snoring filling the hallway. Gaara's door is closed, but she can hear the shifting, restless pacing from inside.
The moon is full. She bars her door.
---
Gaara doesn't mean to. He never means to.
She and Kankuro and Gaara stand across from Kazekage-sama as Yashamaru's urn is placed on the family altar. He doesn't meet her eyes as she stares at him. She doesn't even know what she wants from him. Maybe, a sign that he understands, that he realizes that another death in their family is making her chest ache.
But his eyes, as always, are on Gaara. Except, this time, he looks angry, and at her side, Gaara is beginning to cry.
---
Kankuro hears the sound first, and he signals her to stay quiet as he edges towards the door and peers out onto the balcony. She moves with him until she is kneeling beside him just out of sight. Her fan is all the way across the room, but that's fine. She can manage. She always has.
How many? she mimes with her hands.
He holds up three fingers and snorts. She shakes her head and grips a kunai. That's not nearly enough to defeat them. Not nearly enough to even touch Gaara. She takes a deep breath and gives the go ahead signal. Together, she and Kankuro swing into the darkness.
They've got a brother-monster to protect.
---
The desert writhes beneath her feet, white salt and golden sand. In time past, this was a seabed, but the sun has stolen life from this stretch of sun-scarred forever just like it's done from every home she's ever known.
Gaara dips down to run fingers through the grains of sand, and she and Kankuro draw wordlessly to a halt. If they're safe like this, out in the open, trailing a few rogue nins, Gaara says nothing. If they are in danger, Gaara says nothing.
Time changes some things, like oceans and little girls, but not others because Gaara says nothing when they're weak and nothing when they're strong.
He rises to his feet. They went this way.
---
The first time she saw It was an accident; the second time is on purpose.
She and Kankuro have learned, after so many years, when to just shut up and let Gaara do what he wants. She doesn't even know how she knows except that maybe it has to do with the way his back muscles tighten or the way his eyes unfocus.
She knows, and she trails him anyway as he prowls for someone to kill. When he calls It out, she has to bite down hard on the skin between thumb and index finger to keep from screaming. It's her first real scar.
---
Get out of my way, or I'll kill you, is all he says, standing in a sliver of moonlight between the window and the door.
Somehow, she doesn't care, and she crosses her arms against her chest to make it clear that she isn't moving. This is where she belongs, as much as she belongs anywhere since mother died: between Gaara and the world, and the world and Gaara.
Calm down, Gaara, she says. It won't do any good for you to go out like this.
He takes a step closer and when he speaks, his breath smells like dirt. At his side, his fingers twitch in convulsions. I'll kill you.
She tries not to flinch. She stares back. Then do it.
---
She and Kankuro never talk about the cries they hear from Gaara's room at night. They never talk about much other than missions and the need to keep Gaara safe, but they avoid this subject particularly.
I'm a good boy, aren't I, mother? I'll be good for you. I'll find you something to make you happy, mother.
Sometimes, she catches herself wondering what would happen if she went into Gaara's room and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and tried to make him stop crying. But they aren't a family, and she doesn't know why she's starting to forget that.
---
In the academy, she studied history, so she knows irony when she sees it. The last war had ended long before she was born, but she's read about it in her books, and she can remember the name of every last Sand-nin who died without reason.
She is disgusted by this new mission. To war with Konoha for the sake of business? When she tells Baki how she feels, he yells, A ninja is a tool of war!, and looks at her like she is young and stupid. And maybe she is, but she's been at war all her life, and she knows hamartia when she sees it too.
---
The Leaf-boy is in danger. Kankuro senses it too because she catches the glimmer of puppet strings curled around his fingers. They watch Gaara, fix their eyes on the cork of the gourd, and wait.
All they've ever done is watch Gaara and wait, she thinks, heart missing beats.
Gaara is silent for a very long time, as impossible to read as shifting sand. Finally, he cocks his head back and says, Gaara of the Sand.
The Leaf-boy smirks, which just proves to her that he's a fool. Uchiha Sasuke.
---
When Gaara kills the men from the Hidden Rain, she doesn't even blink.
---
The plan has gone to pieces, and part of her wants to say I told you so. But her ribs are aching where Gaara hit her, and she can feel blood soaking into her shirt where the tree scraped her as she fell. Unless her count is off, that'll make her thirty-sixth scar.
Gaara is screaming for mother again. It used to make her furious because, after all, he stole mother away from her and then he stole father and Yashamaru too. Now, she just feels tired and heavy.
She's still got herself, and as long as she can stand, she can keep Gaara alive.
---
"Temari, Kankuro... Thanks..."
She nearly falters in her jump, but she recovers just in time and shoots a glance at Kankuro. He looks confused as well. He readjusts Gaara's weight and manages to stutter out, "N..no problem..."
Gaara doesn't say anything more, and he almost seems peaceful, like he's dreaming which she knows he's never done.
Temari shuts her eyes tightly for a moment and then shakes her head dismissively. They aren't a family.
Yet.
To a stranger, they might almost look like they are waiting for Kankuro and not just for the mission to start again. She might be; he definitely isn't. Because they've never been a family, and Gaara's hands have never been clean even if they look it. These are things she never forgets.
---
Kankuro slips into the chair beside her and gestures for the young woman behind the counter to bring him something, anything, to eat. He ends up with a plate of gyoza.
Where's Gaara gone?
She shrugs and twirls her chopsticks in the thick pile of soba before her. Probably not far.
Kankuro groans a little and wraps two dumplings in a napkin to be hidden in his shuriken holster and saved for an emergency. He gets to his feet. Let's go find him.
She digs in her pocket for a moment and produces enough change for their meals. It won't be hard. Just follow the screaming. She wishes that was a joke.
---
She doesn't take the chuunin exam that year. Gaara isn't even a genin yet, so how could she?
She walks home alone and passes other students who graduated in her year, planning their journey to Konoha. Nights like this, she knows she isn't really a ninja. To Kazekage-sama and the rest, she is just a zookeeper.
When she gets home, Kankuro is already asleep in his room, door open and his snoring filling the hallway. Gaara's door is closed, but she can hear the shifting, restless pacing from inside.
The moon is full. She bars her door.
---
Gaara doesn't mean to. He never means to.
She and Kankuro and Gaara stand across from Kazekage-sama as Yashamaru's urn is placed on the family altar. He doesn't meet her eyes as she stares at him. She doesn't even know what she wants from him. Maybe, a sign that he understands, that he realizes that another death in their family is making her chest ache.
But his eyes, as always, are on Gaara. Except, this time, he looks angry, and at her side, Gaara is beginning to cry.
---
Kankuro hears the sound first, and he signals her to stay quiet as he edges towards the door and peers out onto the balcony. She moves with him until she is kneeling beside him just out of sight. Her fan is all the way across the room, but that's fine. She can manage. She always has.
How many? she mimes with her hands.
He holds up three fingers and snorts. She shakes her head and grips a kunai. That's not nearly enough to defeat them. Not nearly enough to even touch Gaara. She takes a deep breath and gives the go ahead signal. Together, she and Kankuro swing into the darkness.
They've got a brother-monster to protect.
---
The desert writhes beneath her feet, white salt and golden sand. In time past, this was a seabed, but the sun has stolen life from this stretch of sun-scarred forever just like it's done from every home she's ever known.
Gaara dips down to run fingers through the grains of sand, and she and Kankuro draw wordlessly to a halt. If they're safe like this, out in the open, trailing a few rogue nins, Gaara says nothing. If they are in danger, Gaara says nothing.
Time changes some things, like oceans and little girls, but not others because Gaara says nothing when they're weak and nothing when they're strong.
He rises to his feet. They went this way.
---
The first time she saw It was an accident; the second time is on purpose.
She and Kankuro have learned, after so many years, when to just shut up and let Gaara do what he wants. She doesn't even know how she knows except that maybe it has to do with the way his back muscles tighten or the way his eyes unfocus.
She knows, and she trails him anyway as he prowls for someone to kill. When he calls It out, she has to bite down hard on the skin between thumb and index finger to keep from screaming. It's her first real scar.
---
Get out of my way, or I'll kill you, is all he says, standing in a sliver of moonlight between the window and the door.
Somehow, she doesn't care, and she crosses her arms against her chest to make it clear that she isn't moving. This is where she belongs, as much as she belongs anywhere since mother died: between Gaara and the world, and the world and Gaara.
Calm down, Gaara, she says. It won't do any good for you to go out like this.
He takes a step closer and when he speaks, his breath smells like dirt. At his side, his fingers twitch in convulsions. I'll kill you.
She tries not to flinch. She stares back. Then do it.
---
She and Kankuro never talk about the cries they hear from Gaara's room at night. They never talk about much other than missions and the need to keep Gaara safe, but they avoid this subject particularly.
I'm a good boy, aren't I, mother? I'll be good for you. I'll find you something to make you happy, mother.
Sometimes, she catches herself wondering what would happen if she went into Gaara's room and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and tried to make him stop crying. But they aren't a family, and she doesn't know why she's starting to forget that.
---
In the academy, she studied history, so she knows irony when she sees it. The last war had ended long before she was born, but she's read about it in her books, and she can remember the name of every last Sand-nin who died without reason.
She is disgusted by this new mission. To war with Konoha for the sake of business? When she tells Baki how she feels, he yells, A ninja is a tool of war!, and looks at her like she is young and stupid. And maybe she is, but she's been at war all her life, and she knows hamartia when she sees it too.
---
The Leaf-boy is in danger. Kankuro senses it too because she catches the glimmer of puppet strings curled around his fingers. They watch Gaara, fix their eyes on the cork of the gourd, and wait.
All they've ever done is watch Gaara and wait, she thinks, heart missing beats.
Gaara is silent for a very long time, as impossible to read as shifting sand. Finally, he cocks his head back and says, Gaara of the Sand.
The Leaf-boy smirks, which just proves to her that he's a fool. Uchiha Sasuke.
---
When Gaara kills the men from the Hidden Rain, she doesn't even blink.
---
The plan has gone to pieces, and part of her wants to say I told you so. But her ribs are aching where Gaara hit her, and she can feel blood soaking into her shirt where the tree scraped her as she fell. Unless her count is off, that'll make her thirty-sixth scar.
Gaara is screaming for mother again. It used to make her furious because, after all, he stole mother away from her and then he stole father and Yashamaru too. Now, she just feels tired and heavy.
She's still got herself, and as long as she can stand, she can keep Gaara alive.
---
"Temari, Kankuro... Thanks..."
She nearly falters in her jump, but she recovers just in time and shoots a glance at Kankuro. He looks confused as well. He readjusts Gaara's weight and manages to stutter out, "N..no problem..."
Gaara doesn't say anything more, and he almost seems peaceful, like he's dreaming which she knows he's never done.
Temari shuts her eyes tightly for a moment and then shakes her head dismissively. They aren't a family.
Yet.